Being shy on the internet
This is kind of a rant about a tangent I got myself into while trying to write another post. Please bear (haha) with me.
I have not been on the internet for long if compared to most people here. But as long as I have had it, I have always been in a fandom. I have always been trying to integrate myself. The problem? I’m shy. It took me YEARS to comment on people's posts. I’m an avid consumer of fanart, headcanons, Twitter AUs, fanfics, and more, however I hesitate to leave a simple compliment.
Why? I don’t know exactly, mostly fear of saying something wrong. People usually get really brave behind the anonymity of the internet, but I don’t. Actually, it is quite the opposite, I’m more likely to say something in person. Also, time is an important thing, I’m afraid of saying something about a character, and someone with more time in the fandom answers something like, “Actually, on page xxx of vol. xxx, there is a scene (…). So you’re wrong.” Knowing less than other people makes me feel a little inferior. I don’t like to be wrong.
Around 2023 I found a new fandom and got in right in the beginning. So I felt more confident, I actually talked with people and had moots. Then came 2024, and an apocalypse fell upon the fandom + twitter got blocked in Brasil. So, many of us fled to Blue Sky, We were just a bunch of little accounts scrambled around, and this is where I actually got really involved. I shared my views, my headcanons, made fanart and published fanfics. I was so proud of myself!
After some time the posts about the fandom died down, and we noticed Bsky was way better than Twitter, so we stayed there as friends, posting about our days and hobbies. Most of my drawings are posted there. It was there I lost my fear.
I was surprised people on the internet actually wanted to hear what I had to say. I got confident, I even started this blog! My first entry here is from July 2024, it still up, unlike most of my other posts. At first I wrote in portuguese but I posted very little, didn’t know very well what I was doing, and ended up abandoning it.
Now look at me! My blog looks pretty, people read what I write and like it, I get email about my posts, and people even sign my guestbook. Different from many people here, I didn’t fully give up on the current internet, I still have many mainstream social media profiles, but Bear has so much charm I now spend a great deal of time here, just reading other people's blogs. I’m really happy to have found a community here. (Maybe I will write a post about it, if I do, I will link it here)
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