I miss my passion
For as long as I can remember, I have drawn.
In the walls, in my books, in my homework, in any paper I could find.
I was never a great artist, does not matter how much people around me tell me otherwise. To people who have never tried anything, above average is awesome.
But don’t be confused. Just because I know I’m not great doesn’t mean I don’t love it. It was my passion.
“Amateur” comes from the verb “to love” in Latin, "amare." The word in portuguese (amador) literally means “the one who loves.”
I always preferred to do things in my way and never tried to make my art professionally. The phrase “work with what you love, and it won't seem like work” never sounds real to me. So I barely posted or ever did commissions or anything like that. My art is for me and my enjoyment only.
But now I’m not enjoying it.
I feel like I’m not improving. I can’t do better, no matter how much I try.
I’m not enjoying the result, nor am I enjoying the process. So why would I keep going?
I miss it. I miss rendering, sketching, and putting in little details. I do not miss lineart.
Maybe I should take a step back. Start from the beginning, study the basics, and change my style.
Maybe a change of perspective is what I need.
Thanks for reading!
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